SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT

The Choice
The shipwrecked sailor had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him. When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "With the captain's compliments. He said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."

Cats

• Behind every cat that crosses the street, there is a dog saying, "Go ahead, you can make it."
• To a cat's mind, all things belong to cats.
• As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
• There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.
• Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are Divine.
• There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
• The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. (Hmmmm)

Practicing What You Preach?

Recently my wife was behind a car on which she noticed with three bumper stickers. One said, "Don't be fooled by genetically engineered food! Demand labels and safety testing for food." The second said, ""Eat for the health of it." And the third said, "Support organic farmers." The car was in front of her at a McDonald's drive-through.

Question Answered

Last year I entered the Cal State marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing. The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?" I replied: "You really want to know?" So I dropped out of the race.