FUNNY SAYINGS WITH A LITTLE PLAY ON WORDS

•   Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer! 
   
•    How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it. 
   
•    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . 
   
•    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. 
   
•    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo. 
   
•    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now. 
   
•    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. 
   
•    I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
   
•    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. 
   
•    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. 
   
•    When chemists die, they barium. 
   
•    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.   I just can't put it down.
   
•    I did a theatrical performance about puns.   It was a play on words. 
   
•    Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations. 
   
•    I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me. 
   
•    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? 
   
•    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. 
   
•    Broken pencils are pointless. 
   
•    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus. 
   
•    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. 
   
•    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. 
   
•    Velcro - what a rip off! 
   
•    Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.