JUST FOR LAUGHS

It's a What? 
We took the kids to one of those restaurants where the walls are plastered with movie memorabilia. I went off to see the hostess about reserving a table. When I returned, I found my 10-year-old granddaughter Kaitlyn staring at a poster of Superman standing in a phone booth. Kaitlyn looked puzzled. "She doesn't know who Superman is?" I whispered to Jenny. "Worse," Jenny replied. "She doesn't know what a phone booth is." 

In Other Words... 

Two trucks, loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus, collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to news accounts. Witnesses were stunned, astonished, startled, aghast, astounded, taken aback, stupefied... 

In So Many Words 

• Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships just don't work out.
• When my friends told me to stop impersonating a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
• Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle-free and 3 sizes smaller!
• Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet!
• I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!
• When I was a child I thought nap time was a punishment. Now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!
• The biggest lie I tell myself is ... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
• If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
• I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do the second week.
• Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
• The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

Computer History 

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. Surprise, surprise. It was an Apple. But with extremely limited memory — just 1 byte. Then everything crashed.