Friday, February 3, 2017

A LITTLE HUMOR FOR THE WEEK

Non-Biblical Proverbs 
  • He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
  • A day without sunshine is like ... night.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
  • Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
  • You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you.
  • I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
  • The latest surveys concluded that 3 out of 4 people make up 75 percent of the world's population.
  • A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  • Scientists have discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
  • I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
What I learned from my dog 

Wag more, bark less. 

Anniversary Wisdom 

On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no I in the word marriage." The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling."

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