Great social skills post

Subject: Article from Readers Digest Departments 2013 10 01

Uncommon Sense By Jeanne Marie Laskas Modern Ways to Mind Your Manners Our resident voice of reasons says ... If someone sits right next to me in an empty movie theater, is it offensive to move? Maybe, but nobody will fault you for it. Chances are the close sitter has trouble reading social cues, so he might even miss your irritation. You undoubtedly aren't the first person he's met who needs some elbowroom. Forgive his bad judgment, move quietly, and enjoy the show. If someone has food stuck in his teeth, do I tell him? Total Golden Rule moment: Do unto others. Would you want this person to tell you? There's your answer. If I use the bathroom at Starbucks, do I need to buy something? Consider frequency and urgency. Is this a one-time thing or an emergency? If so, you don't have to buy anything, but it would be kind if you did. However, if you regularly relieve yourself at this location, then you are a customer, and you should act like one. If I'm shopping and decide I don't want to buy something after all, is it wrong to hang it on the nearest rack? Yes! Clean up after yourself. Your laziness means someone else has to pick up after you. If I open a door for someone and more people approach, do I stand there like a doorman? Stand there like a courteous person who's willing to help. Smile and make eye contact with everyone who passes. One of them should take over for you to return the favor. If I'm with my child and someone nearby is swearing loudly, should I ask him to stop? It's very risky to tell poorly mannered people how to behave. They usually take offense and get worse. Instead, turn to your child with a smile and say softly, "Well, that was rude, wasn't it? If my friends choose a restaurant I can't afford, is it uncool to decline? You can nix the place but still accept the invitation. Say "Oh, I would love to, but that restaurant is beyond my budget. Wanna try [insert name of cheaper place] instead? They'll get it. It's about the friendship, not the food and not the money. If my pal keeps using the same phrase incorrectly (it's "intents and purposes," not "intensive purposes"), can I correct her? Please? Of course! We the Grammar Police invite you to enlist. Understand that you will be perceived as a profound annoyance by many people. So own it! I would now like to obnoxiously correct your word usage. Bonus points for any outreach involving dangling modifiers. If I remember my friend's birthday a day late, should I apologize or just wish her a happy birthday like nothing happened? This is the reason the word belated was invented. Happy belated birthday! is shorthand for: "Yeah, I know I forgot, but then I remembered, so cut me some slack, and it's kinda funny, and you've done it before, too, so, hey, happy birthday. If I didn't get a plus-one to a wedding, is it impolite to ask for one? Yes. If the happy couple wanted you to bring a date, they would have said "and guest. They did not. So don't put them in the awkward position of having to explain themselves. It's their day, not yours. Is it OK to taste a grape in the market before I buy a bunch? No. No one wants to buy food that someone else has been picking at. Can I lie about seeing a text because I was too busy or lazy to respond to it? It's a small wrong that means you're a big wimp. Don't lie. Receiving a text does not mean you need to read it, respond to it, or care about what it says. Why waste a perfectly good lie when the truth will serve? Yes," you can say if ever asked, "I saw it. No explanation needed as to why you didn't text back. If I don't agree with something in a link or story that a friend posted on my Facebook wall, is it inappropriate to delete it? Remove what you don't like. Think of it as the front yard of your house: If someone stuck a sign there with a slogan you found offensive, would you leave it? Your wall is the same: your space, your choice.