Which Comes First?
All too often, Christmas is a race to see which gives out first — your money or your feet.
Don't Bug Me
At a clearance sale, the wife of a federal district court judge found a green tie that was a perfect match for one of her husband's sports jackets. Soon after, while the couple was vacationing at a resort complex to get his mind off a rather complicated conspiracy case, he noticed a small, round disc sewn into the design of the tie. The judge showed it to a local FBI agent, who was equally suspicious that it might be a 'bug' planted by the conspiracy defendants. The agent sent the device to FBI headquarters in Washington, DC for analysis. Two weeks later, the judge phoned the Washington office to learn the results of their tests. "We're not sure where the disc came from," the FBI told him, "but we discovered that when you press it, it plays 'Jingle Bells.'"
Oh
The Sunday School teacher looked at the boy's drawing of a manger scene, which included a large dog was among the animals. The teacher asked about it. "Oh," said the child, "That's a German Shepherd."
Insufficient Instructions
Aboard a flight from Los Angeles to New York, Grandma Jeannette was taking her very first flight. They had only been aloft a few minutes when the elderly lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping. The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort. When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess. "The chewing gum worked fine," she said, "But tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?"
Isn't it supposed to?
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust.
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