Saturday, July 8, 2017

FOURTH OF JULY HUMOR

Correction, Please
The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free." One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said, "I'm not free. I'm four."

4th Shorts
  • What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat, men!"
  • Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
    Tommy: Yes, ma'am. At the bottom.
  • What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War? The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
  • Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of "The Star-Spangled Banner"?
    Johnny: "Play ball"?
  • What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for? Liberty!
  • What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party? Tea-shirts.
  • What is the difference between a duck and George Washington? One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill!
  • Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants? Because they lived in colonies.
  • What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing. It just waved!
  • What dance was very popular in 1776? Indepen-dance!
  • What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed? The Fodder of Our Country!
  • Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell? Yeah, it cracked me up!
  • What did King George think of the American colonists? He thought they were revolting!
  • Do they have a 4th of July in England? Yes. That's how they get from the 3rd to the 5th.
  • What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773? The Boston Flea Party!
  • Which colonists told the most jokes? Punsylvanians!
  • How is a healthy person like the United States? They both have good constitutions!

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