Skill Set Enhancement
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."
Camping Advice
When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
My Housework Philosophy
- I don't do windows because I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
- I don't wax floors because I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I'll feel terrible, and they might sue me.
- I don't mind the dust bunnies because they are very good company. I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.
- I don't disturb cobwebs because I want every creature to have a home of their own.
- I don't spring clean because I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.
- I don't pull weeds in the garden because I don't want to get rid of the only green I've got.
- I don't put things away because my husband will never be able to find them again.
- I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.
- I don't iron because I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press."
- I don't stress much on anything because "A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' person!
Good Neighbor Policy
A good neighbor is one that lets his grass grow as tall as yours.
Church Visitors
While on vacation, a friend visited a church on Sunday. They settled into a pew near the front of the church. An usher came up to them, tapped on pew and said, "This pew is saved." Her husband looked up, smiled and replied, "So are we!"
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