Uh...
A teacher was telling her class about plant names that have the word "dog" in them: dog-rose, dogwood, dog violet. She asked the class if they could name another flower with the preface "dog." Steven raised his hand and said, "How about a 'collie' flower!"
Shopping Advice
Kathy was shopping in the mall with her two children and a display in the window of a lingerie store caught her eye. "Do you think Daddy would like this?" she asked the kids, as she pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe. "No way," four-year-old Ryan replied. "Daddy would NEVER wear that!"
Bachelor Cooking
Two confirmed bachelors were sitting and talking. Their conversation drifted from sports to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said the first, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy cooking in it?" asked the second. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way, 'Take a clean dish and...'"
Shorts
- Yeah, I'm a bird lover. Mostly chicken. Mostly fried.
- I'm not fat, I'm just easier to see.
- Never judge people by their relatives.
- Money used to talk. Then it whispered. Now it just sneaks off.
Faith
An old pastor stood in his pulpit addressing the congregation about the drought that had lasted for at least eight months. As all stood filled with faith, he told the congregation they would gather that night for prayer. "Folks we are going to pray for rain so come prepared to see God move in a great way." That night as many assembled the old pastor stood and asked a simple question. "Folks, where are your umbrellas?"
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