Signs That You Attend a Small Church
You cancel church when the pastor goes on vacation because his family ishalf the congregation.You meet in the pastor's two-car garage while the sanctuary is being remodeled.The church bus is a minivan that carries seven passengers.The pastor comes to Wednesday night services in his uniform directly fromhis "other" job.The youth group ages goes to 30.The senior adult age starts at 31.Children's church is canceled when the family with the most kids goes onvacation.The pastor also serves as an usher, pianist and song leader.
It's Been Said...
"Shopping with your husband is like hunting with the game warden."
Umm...
On my birthday I got a really funny card. It joked about how our bodies mightbe getting older, but our minds remain "tarp as shacks." I wanted to thankthe person who sent it, but I can't. They forgot to sign the card.
Church Signs
Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet Him today.Keep using My name in vain and I'll make rush hour longer.Why pay for GPS? Jesus gives directions for free.Be an organ donor. Give your heart to Jesus today.
Speaking In Tongues*
Seen on a blog: "So, this morning, Sue and I get off the planein Newark, New Jersey, and I need to find a restroom. As I was walking outof the baggage claim, I stopped a United Airlines worker and said, "We ain'tnare been up here. We are frum Gas-TONY-a, Nirth Caroliner. Where is theclostest restroom?" The airlines worker flagged down another female worker,and as she approached, she stuck out her hand and said, "My name is Louisaand I'll be your interpretah while you is here at the airport."
*Supposedly a true story. Mostly. Well, kind of. Nameshave been changed to protect the guilty.
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