Good Question
A lady was looking for a turkey for her Thanksgiving dinner but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the store's stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?" "No, ma'am," he responded. "They're dead."
Being Thankful
The checkout clerk at the supermarket was unusually cheerful even though it was near closing time. "You must have picked up a ton of groceries today," a customer said to the checker. "How can you stay so pleasant?" "We can all count our blessings," the clerk replied. "The hardest part of this job is the turkeys and the watermelons. I just thank God that Thanksgiving doesn't come in July."
Actual Interactions from the Butterball Help Line
- When a Butterball staffer asked a caller what state her turkey was in (meaning how thawed was it) the caller said, "Florida."
- A disappointed woman called Butterball wondering why her turkey had no breast meat. After conversing with the operator, it became apparent that the woman's turkey was lying on the table upside-down.
- A man called to say he cut his turkey in half with a chain saw and wanted to know if the oil from the chain would adversely affect the turkey.
Recommendation for Thanksgiving Leftovers
"Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out."
(This recommendation is not endorsed by Shelia.)
Who Am I?
A big-time celebrity was doing a benefit at a senior citizens' home. He asked one of them, "Do you know who I am?" "No," she replied, "but you can do what we do — ask at the front desk and they can tell you."
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