I've always wanted a beautiful shawl to wear with my winter dresses. So when I opened the present from my sister Wanda, and saw that it was a white-and-silver shawl, I squealed in delight. "I love it!" I told Wanda that evening. "I wore it all morning." "You wore it?" she asked, smiling. "It's a skirt for the Christmas tree."
New Year's Observations
- A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
- My New Year's resolution is 1080p.
- I have only one resolution: to rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!
- May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
- Every year I make a resolution to change myself -- this year I'm making a resolution to be myself!
- New Year's is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don't want you reusing last year's calendar.
Grandparents' Answering Machine
"Good morning. At present we are not available, but please select from the following menu items:
"Good morning. At present we are not available, but please select from the following menu items:
- If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from 1 to 5 in order of "arrival" so we know who it is.
- If you need us to stay with the children, press 2
- If you want to borrow the car, press 3
- If you want us to wash your clothes and ironing, press 4
- If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight, press 5
- If you want us to pick up the kids at school, press 6
- If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday or to have it delivered to your home, press 7
- If you want to come to eat here, press 8
- If you need money, press 9
- If you are going to invite us to dinner or want to take us to the concert, start talking — we are listening." (Beeeeeeeep...)
No comments:
Post a Comment