Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"
A: "You can't tuna fish."
Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
A: a meowntain
Q: What do you call a baby monkey?
A: A Chimp off the old block.
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Q: Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A: It went back four seconds.
Q: What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? A: An ambulance.
Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
A: Because she will Let it go.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
A: Idaho... Alaska!
Q: Did you hear about that new broom?
A: It's sweeping the nation!
Q: What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
A: An irrelephant.
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel.
Q: Where do crayons go on vacation?
A: Color-ado!
Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
A: He held up a pair of pants.
Q: What do you call a fat psychic?
A: A four chin teller.
Q: What do you call a computer floating in the ocean?
A: A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
Q: What do you call a computer that sings?
A: A-Dell
Q: Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica?
A: It's dread-full.
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!
Q: Why is your foot more special than your other body parts?
A: Because they have their own soul.
Q: What is heavy forward but not backward?
A: Ton.
Q: What did the femur say to the patella?
A: I kneed you.
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?
A: Because it was framed.
Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark?
A: a yardvark!
Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?
A: Swimming trunks.
Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A: At the BP station!
Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver.
Q: What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
A: LMAYO
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A: a thesaurus.
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/cleanjokes.html
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/cleanjokes.html
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