If a mom says, "no," ask Grandma. If Grandma says "no," then... Wait, who are we kidding? Grandma never says, "No!"
How Tough?
Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were. "I'm so tough," said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week." "Well," said the second boy, "I'm so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day." That's nothing," said the third boy. "When my parents take me to see Grandma and Grandpa, I can wear them out in just one hour."
Problem Solved
"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you." Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine. I'll take two."
Glossary of Medical Terms (Down-Home Version)
- Artery - The study of paintings
- Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
- Barium - What doctors do when patients die
- Benign - What you be, after you be eight
- Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome
- Cat scan - Searching for Kitty
- Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
- Colic - A sheep dog
- Coma - A punctuation mark
- Dilate - To live long
- Enema - Not a friend
- Fester - Quicker than someone else
- Fibula - A small lie
- Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work
- Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane
- Morbid - A higher offer
- Nitrates - Rates of pay for working at night, normally more money than dayrates
- Node - I knew it
- Outpatient - A person who has fainted
- Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Breakfast
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Sue, the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Good, what are we having for breakfast," said Dewey, the new husband. She replied, "Toast and juice."
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said Sue, the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Good, what are we having for breakfast," said Dewey, the new husband. She replied, "Toast and juice."
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