- Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete.
- Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every week he gives us a sermon about something. Robert.
- Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty.
- Dear Pastor, please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help. Or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander
- Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie
- Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health was more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor.
- Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph
What Makes an Ideal Pastor?
A survey identified the characteristics people consider would make the ideal pastor:
A survey identified the characteristics people consider would make the ideal pastor:
- Preaches deep expository sermons that are filled with funny stories and last exactly 10 minutes.
- Frequently condemns sin but never upsets anyone.
- Works at the church from 7 a.m. until midnight and spends plenty of time with the family.
- Makes $100 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, and gives about $150 a week to the poor.
- Is 28 years of age and has been preaching for 30 years.
- Has a burning desire to work with teenagers, and is always with the senior citizens.
- Makes 15 daily calls to church families, visits shut-ins and the hospitalized, evangelizes the unchurched, and is always in the office when needed.
Shorts
- When I was little a camera fell on my head. I still have flashbacks.
- I want to write a mystery novel. Or...do I?
- Half the people you know are below average.
When?
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards, when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards, when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
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