Watcha Talk?
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a poor view, so he stand on a large box and asks, "Can you all see me now?" They respond, "Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja." (Hint: Say it out loud.)
Riddle
Question: Who is bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby?
Answer: Mr. Bigger's baby because he is a little Bigger!
Sacked!
One night a burglar, needing money to pay his taxes, decided to burgle a safe in a mom and pop grocery store. On the safe door was a note that read "Please don't use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the handle." He was quite pleased with this turn of events so he followed the instructions. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire store was floodlighted, and alarms started sounding. As the police carried him out on a stretcher, he was heard moaning: "My confidence in human nature has been terribly shaken."
What A Comfort
Mary hated the idea of surgery. So she was very upset when the doctor informed her that she needed a tonsillectomy. Mary after much deliberation, decided to go ahead and have the procedure. While she and the nurse were filling out an admission form, she was so nervous she couldn't think straight or hardly speak. The nurse, being a compassionate sort, patted her hand and said, "Don't worry. This is a simple medical procedure, and a problem that can easily be fixed." "I am sure you are right. I'm being silly," Mary said, "Please continue." "Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?"
Working Out
New to town, I was eager to meet people and make friends. So one day I struck up a conversation with the only other woman in the gym. Pointing to two men playing racquetball in a nearby court, I said to her, "There's my husband." Then I added, "The thin one — not the fat one." After a slightly uncomfortable silence, she replied, "And that's my husband — the fat one."
No comments:
Post a Comment